Im going through a hard time at the moment. We are equally puzzled by the NT world. The very dramatic emotions are just the comfort of expressing emotions along with ideas, whereas Aspies tend to keep these things separate as if they are unrelated. Although I've tried, I've been unable to rekindle those feelings of love with anyone else and I'm close to giving up on relationships altogether. He recently left this job for good, and not only ignored me for 9 whole months while we worked closely together day after day, but on his very last day, he wrote long cards to everyone at work saying bizarre things, like how much he'll miss them, he loves them, they were his friends, etc..and he wrote me one sentence that said, "Good luck in the future"something sterile and cold like that. You worried about how honest and genuine your partner was. The thought of interacting with her became increasingly stressful and the stress became physically debilitating, so I spent a lot of time in bed recovering from the pain (shut down). They were excited to spend time with me, open and healthy. Ive been married for less than a year and already I have found myself in the vicious cycle of being ignored repeatedly. If mine didnt take sertraline, our marrserotonin, definitively be over or I would be dead. He's made his decision to leave because he can't express his needs and I don't read minds. This time, when he resurfaces, and I believe he will, I wont make the mistake of getting back together. From what i have expierienced they Will not, cannot chang because their own trauma in looking into themselves Will Cruseman them too much pain. Weve been on a roller coaster ride since our eldest was born. Well we have kids (not planned) and both have autism. I finally tried to explain that his silence made me anxious and I needed to know if he is ok. For the neurotypical: When you first got together, you had never felt so seen, validated, and understood. my daughter , runs around school drop offs and yet here I am , writing on a blog and hes gone into shut down , buggered by a small argument .hes packed his suit case and left. After 30 years what Ive noticed with my aspie husband is that hes only gotten worse and in fact at midlife he had a major crisis and left me. But then he withdrew sex and affection saying he felt off. He cant handle actually thinking of the topic itself. Its oh so hard for them I too am dating an Aspie. I havent seen her since 2005. I feel like my life is passing me by. This cycle never ends. I have interests that I share with few people and like my time alone. Still I have been hurt, confused and in doubt a lot of the time. Life with Aspergers: Why do Aspies Suddenly Back Off in Relationships (Part 2) Is it up to me to open the lines of communication or is it up to him? His drinking also started to get really bad and in social situations he would say things that would embarrass me in front of our friends. I knew deep down he loved me, I loved him but I could not keep subjecting myself to the pain and rejection. These are generalizations, of course; but they describe general characteristics of each. It has nothing to do with you in particular. They wanted to fight. You cant carry on like this or you will get terribly sick. Husband is a diagnosed level 1 Aspergers about 4 years ago . As a matter of fact some people(not just Aspies its a general psychological problem that can happen to anyone) deal with that kind of abuse by actually trying to make sure no one likes them so they can stay in their comfort zone. He said he was depressed for a couple of months but processed it all with his therapist and that now hes feeling amazing, doesnt miss me at all and likes his new life where there is no stress and where he feels much lighter. So to save alot of heartbreak, upset and unecessary mental grief for all..be true to who you really are. This is such a difficult situation and my heart goes out, I did not know my wife was an aspie until after we were married which sadly then fell apart. I need some advice. This is the second time he has left the relationship even through he has said on many occasions that he wont find anyone better then me. I dont underestand why I love her, But I do, And I dont want to lose her Im so tired. Oh well his loss! (If youre a NT in an NT/AS relationship, please feel free to join this group.). Any insights would be appreciated. Sometimes when I find I click with someone and they want to become friends or more I get nervous. Im an Aspie and we are easily stressed out from NTs incessant demands. At the level of the neurology, the differences lend themselves to inevitable conflict. Its been a month already. Yes our group is international and includes video conferences, teleconferences, message boards. July 21st. Especially if they use defence measures to cope with being hurt. I asked him to put the kids before himself and not cause them any anguish by watching the way he is treating me. Unless Im bleeding, vomiting, having a heart attack right then and there, in the hospital, etc. I wish I would have yielded to the red flags and told him, NO! No messages. He came up with reasons why he felt it was not a big deal and basically did not validate my feelings. I was ok w taking space cuz we still texted a cpl times a day. I am also fearful Im looking at the situation as if he were NT. Are you still together? I love him dearly and am beside myself with anxiety. We ..us NT,s as they call us.worry about saying the wrong thing in case a meltdown occurs where they go silent or disappear. Youre certainly not an expert in psychology or neurology just because you belong to a neurotype any more than a person with cancer isnt an oncologist. Me and my bff worked together for over 2 years and in that time, he literally barely spoke a word to ANYONE at work. He is 41 and I am 38. My biggest advice to you all is to research trauma bonding. I finally got help that he may be Aspergers. Yes, many of our Aspies have severe anxiety, and some cross wiring that makes it difficult for them to feel and talk at the same time. You felt like you were on a new wavelength, and so you were absorbed in this world with this new love who had so many interesting insights and strong feelings. I am assuming u have married. First of all forgive yourself. With a personality difficulty, its entitlement. I tried silence that did not work then one day he just said we are finished would not speak to me so I left and have filed for an annulment. I hear your pain and share your feelings of devastation. You felt like the luckiest person on the planet. I feel like all I have to do is to attract his attention to the issue and only a professional can do this, not me. Truly ignorant, not self aware at all. At this point it has been almost two weeks and I still havent heard from him. I have apologized to him a few times, but he just doesnt seem to be interested in talking now. We met in college and were smitten. Thomas Holland, who had always wanted to be a bus driver . Thank you. I'm giving her space but this hurts. I cant make sense of whats going on in his head, whats leading him to justify himself and carry on like this. Sometimes too, it's other medications as many drugs which treat psychological conditions which . So with an Aspie, they will look apon anyone who they cannot understand as being a disappointment. My husband its his way and the wrong way . Even though he says we are just different and that nobody is wrong, and that we get along great and have a strong connection, he refuses to talk or work things out. I showed screenshots of our convos to my friends. Ive had this conversation with him many times. Were also working on several charitable initiatives. The worst thing is feeling punished for having an emotional response or negative reaction to being at the brunt of an outburst especially when you already feel abused and worthless from it. I'd like to say that aspies aren't like this but I'm sure there are a few. Try to remember that these suggestions come from a desire to help, but also a false belief that all you have to do is put your mind to it and all will be fixed. Same happened to me. These people are Mindblind. He is 25. If you want to try with him again he will most likely not comply, but If he is stop [being] open to it you will need to chill out, do not be critical of him in any way, do not ask for anything, do not pressure him to do activities, do not contact him unless its to offer him something of comfort, and everything has to seem like his idea so pose things you want in a way that will allow him to come to his own conclusions.. Change Resistance. I'm willing to take baby steps to restore the relationship, but if he isn't going to budge or even talk about how he feels, then it seems pointless. Ive expressed Im aware of whats happening but that I dont know where it leaves us now. Also, a weekly lunch date is helpful. That would quickly go away when we were not together in person. I hope you join our group meetings to get the support that means so much when we feel this alone. I found that simply leaving him alone helped him to sort things out so I would let him know I was going to go out and just go shopping, take a ride, whatever to keep myself busy and give him space. She is really competent on the social behavior and I forgot her diagnoses often. Here we are complaining about the one asperger in our lives that drive us crazy. Withdrawing from a stressful situation quickly deescalates and stops the source of pain. Today I have the first sign of coming back of my husbandafter one year of back off my husband was like we have met! The silent treatment is really a cruel form of abuse and it includes more, like ignoring and shunning, and treating you as if your opinion doesn't count. The beginning was so beautiful and happy, like a dream actually. I tried to reconcile using best possible ways but in vain. Now, of course, we clearly see it, but when she was growing up it was unclear. I feel like he broke my trust and i dont know if i could trust him again. I called his parents and his sister to tell them how much I loved him and that I respected his need for space and that my thoughts and prayers were with them all especially my boyfriend. The reason for this word choice is that most searches about adult . with no regard to how they will be impacted . Why do you always ask how I feel? I feel that the foundation of everything is super solid, but she's very overwhelmed by what to me seem sometimes like the simplest misunderstandings. My personality, which is heavily affected by my condition, is always nice, overly logical (sometimes can't read emotions) and helpful but I can't get into arguments (either go silent or get heavily triggered). One way to stay calm when your Aspie gives you the silent treatment, is to remind yourself that they may mean nothing by it. One thing is true, according to Dr. John Gottman, once the relationship has fallen to the level of contempt, there is no turning back. He said hes ok but not talking to anyone cuz hes in his head and disconnected. Im finding doing the right thing or predicting an outcome difficult and also having faith in someone so distant. Since an NT doesn't understand what an effort we've been making, they're liable to think us cold when we stop trying so hard. Your emotional needs will rarely or never be met. I decided to ask for a break of the relationship because I was on the verge of a mental breakdown as to how I felt invisible and not cared for. He will continue on his path of destruction, appealing to him is a complete waste of time. So I took a big step back from my relationship with him and a big step towards my relationship with me. Im confused. its so sad that he cant cope with me having friend s over 3 times in 3 weeks , he says to me do we really need them to visit again. That helped. I hope that there is a future where we can communicate again because it felt like it went so well and she really seemed to enjoy me. Each is shaped by their background, their upbringing, their beliefs and their local customs. Is this what you want for your future ? Aspie-neurotypical relationships often start out with intense passion, then fizzle and devolve into disaster. He told me about his condition in our first meeting and said he is not looking for anything serious. I hope they can find peace. Go now. The oppression of living with a loved one on the Spectrum is severe. I wish I could be positive. If you can get out, do it. It is going to take me awhile to pick up all the destruction he left behind.. he has caused us so many problems .. to me it is not worth staying or fighting because they cant change long term.. they are who they are.. we will be the ones that have to change everything to be with them and Im not interested in spending the rest of my life on egg shells.. you should consider the same.. you will live a life of constant rejection.. nobody deserves that.. Im reading the comments, all of them are close to my reality and yours is the closest. 32 years later I have turned myself inside out trying to please my Aspie husband and doing what he likes. Me too I am so defeated ar the moment I agrree I am not the my best oerson in this relationshio. While it is unlikely he will understand your hurt feelings, he probably can understand that he has broken an important vow. What should I do? You're an emotionless robot." 8) You care way too much about organizing stuff. It was good to understand it in an intellectual way, but still a year later my feelings don't follow reason. Where once you were a hero and life-saver, now you were being considered a terror. I did ask him if he had Aspergers and thats when all the blocking happened. Ive mentioned counselling before. Now, he is too scared to come back. When we first dated, he was so sweet and responsive in person. Being that she is a coworker I can't reach out. I'm sure a few of those potential friends wondered what happened when they didn't get asked back after I'd been to their homes, even though I clearly liked them. happened upon this site- and I have to say, I , a NT woman in her 50's who has seen, experienced almost all the ASP behavior from my 6 year relationship with my man-there isn't a week I don't think of ending the relationship, but I'm addicted to his charm,brilliance , drive, humor, and intent. All this while, he hid the fact of his aspergers. wow it sounds like Im reading about my self. I care deeply for him. I need him to be evaluated desperately indeed before I lose my sanity. We take longer to figure out when it won't work, and then we may stop trying. I'm sorry to say so, but its all such waffle to me. he told me he was ready for a serious relationship, I would spend the night over on his days off and he was very attentive to me and just a sweetheart, although he wasn't too affectionate I still liked him that way, I just thought that was the way he was.He did mention one of his brothers was autistic but i didn't mind that at all. I chose to stop talking to my ex spouse/ASD once I decided to get a divorce. Think about You. Time management is a critical skill, particularly after your child had left school and is expected to take charge of their own day. People defending this behaviour (whether theyre on the spectrum or not) is something all these victims of abuse do not deserve. They can still learn to be better people, just like everyone else. I recently realized that my husband of 26 years not only has adhd which was diagnosed at childhood also has asd. If I get near him he storms off. I saw the red flags throughout the relationship but always found an excuse as to why he would be constantly stressed, angry, disconnected or depressed. The day after our wedding my aspie announced that he didnt really want to be married and that he made a mistake. I'm NT and he is undiagnosed but has so many Aspie traits like stimming and odd fears and disappearing acts and obsessive working on computers and a brilliant mind that works in strange ways. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Its been almost a week since the last trigger and I dont know what more I can do. The aspie may find it easier to go quiet and say nothing than to speak their mind. Changed how I communicated with him and stopped taking his bluntness personally. He never starts a conversation. She was always smiling and had alot of positive energy. Not everyone with ASD takes this narcissistic path, but when they do it is devastating. But this, this was different. You cannot meet them. You are not responsible for them! When the Aspie shuts down, we must be VERY c l e a r and basic in our terms. That day has come, sad as it is but Im loosing myself and getting nothing back!! But since he got a new job and everything start messy up. Why can't you focus on reliable information, like facts?" Girl: "You're weird. I hope I didnt push him even further away with my email. He went through all of our savings had a meltdown that lasted for 12 months and then wanted to come home. But the pain they inflict is devastating. But i found out he has a secret account where hes liking tiktoks of sexy girls dancing but he would be mad at me for talking about a boyband i like and unfollow every celebrity on my Instagram because he says he was jealous (we used to share accounts) and this made us fight and now we are definitely not ok. Its not a relationshipits being a carer. I understand its a disability and for that I will always make compromise because it is my choice to be with him. I LEFT! I quite agree that NTs need help navigating the boiling waters of an NT/ASD relationship. It's been a long time since you posted so I hope you are no longer with him. I told him I needed time to think about things and he started to cry, asking if we could still talk and I said yes. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Who Manages Your Time? This is also why I formed an interventional support group on Meetup, Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD. But I just dont know what to do. Only when he has some sort of an emotional meltdown his goes silent. Everyone was shocked. Feeling bad, I googled the problem and came upon this article. Kathy, I am the NT in the marriage with the man who I love dearly. Surround yourself with your tribe that care and love you. Details please. Another option is to acknowledge that there might have been some miscommunication and quickly clarify where I standis this a good approach, or should I just stick to the quick message and save that stuff for in person, if it gets there? hes checked into a hotel and has told me its for peacof mind and to think of only him self for a change. I went through a lot of silent treatments and neglect but whats worse is that he cheated on me. He said you couldnt possibly be that sorry. I told him I didnt want to be a hurtful person, that I wanted to be someone he felt safe around. Alexios Zavras: When I asked if hed like to meet and talk, he said he had nothing to say, and does not want to. My aspie husband still miserable having left but refuses to look at his own behaviours or get help . He knew he was relaxed, he didnt have to audition anymore and he was starting to snap at me, become more insensitive etc. Ive long felt simultaneously guilty (because I know that my emotional lack of control/abusive language to him trigger these periods, but honestly, it is like .0001 of myself, it is the perimenopausal hormonal fed-up exhausted SAHM. I lost my very close friend who is AS and went through many of the same situations as you. Thank you for all these comments. I wish desperately he would wake up and smell the madness, and do something about it. Ive been feeling like Im going mad with frustration. He needs to be evaluated by someone experienced and it seems like you are offering only education and therapy appointments. And finally, as for the devastating Experience i Know what you mean and i'm with you. After a bit of time, they wear me out and I don't want to get sucked into the emotional maelstrom. You Matter. Any advice would be appreciated. If anyone is ND and reading this could they kindly shed some light. Im also an actress and he wanted to see all my work. Do autistic people take longer to fall in love? We havent had sex in over a year (he has refused, even when we get along well, because he doesnt trust me emotionally (since a number of times over the last year I have gotten angry and done something like the above). Reading these posts exemplify what I felt day to day with him. He has a lawyer and wants toseparate, not really understanding what it is. I have been discarded by NT and ASD alike. We have been together for over 2 years. I am so happy I came across this thread. Two days ago I sent him an understanding email, to try to let him know that Im not angry and that either way, whether he decided to break up with me or stay together, life would carry on calmly. Thank you to whoever replies. I have to do this at least for the sake of our lovely daughter. I was happy, he was so into talking for hours. We would come back home and he was wasted ordering excessive junk food and eating it all while watching TV (i watched in disgust), not even noticing if I existed and constantly falling asleep on the couch. We were pretty much back to how it was before in terms of time spent together (minus overnights). He chose to sit in a bar and drink to excess every night. While I am sympathetic to his sensitivities, I have to have boundaries. They found the smallest ways to ruin things for you, like wearing the wrong clothes to a semi-formal occasion or spending an anniversary playing video games. He went from loving me to cutting me out of his life behaving like he was single, telling me things had changed and he never loved me. Thank you. If we detatch and back off, accept them for who they are too much, then what is the point? Its a year later after my last comment. I cant help someone whos silent. I have had a few meltdowns already, I kinda of became way too emotional in front of him. Apparently I failed the tests. From not only thinking of what he is going through but giving myself anxious and frightening answers about what the explanation is for the lack of contact. Its a long story, but yes,I did hurt him unintentionally. He spent over 100 grand in a couple months on international trips and presents, we had a lot in common, and shared very niche shared passions. Im going to die in this nothingness. But he has to give us a chance, and I dont know how long he will stay away. My ex-boyfriend who I believe has Asperger's broke up with me 4 months ago. You felt like you were with Dr. Jekyll and Mr(s). For the purpose of this article, I have used the word "aspie" instead of "autistic;" however, the two terms should be considered interchangeable in this article. Thats why Mark Zuckerberg made a fortune with Facebook. What they like to do, special interests, specific diet, routines, . It's generally not common for someone to actually HAVE Asperger's and also be a narcissist because a person with Asperger's usually has very little clue on what people say and mean while a narcissist is by definition able to interpret and manipulate others. We havent had sex which is on me bc Ive truthfully lost attraction. I need to know where is ASD effort, energy application of counseling skills to do better by their NT spouse!??! This has hapoened at actime when I meed his support the most. My bf is an Aspie. I just want it to work out but Im afraid after reading a lot of these posts it will never get better and I dont want to accept it. Very interesting thread. I have issues with work place/school relationships not progressing to the next level. I am struggling to the point of losing my mind and my health and my aspie husband is of no help. 8. I notice that all my fellow students and co-workers have no issue in becoming buddies and laughing and joking and hanging out. Then notice when there is an opening and offer to listen instead of desperately try to discuss how you feel. Our adult daughter 25 is undiagnosed aspie. Protective order in place. I don't understand how marriages last a long time. I just wish we were still together. I sometimes feel his a narcissistic person, but then I remind myself his an Aspie. Things started to get worse once we moved in together, him needing to have alone time most of the time, calling me needy because I needed so much attention, while I was just expecting regular things like sitting together at the table for dinner or having small talk after work. Once I gave them an attitude and they tried to tone police me, although they were just talking to me like that too. I asked if her boyfriend was going to be there. He was the one that mentioned asperger's first. He assaulted me in one of his meltdowns, was arrested, charges were dropped..I was influential in this. If i try to confront him or ask him not to do it ever again or ask to compromise he would shut himself and isolate himself more to me and sometimes would have suicidal tendencies telling me he can never do anything right and that he ruins everything. I suspect my husband is an undiagnosed aspie. Others find eye contact uncomfortable, unhelpful, or distracting, as we have difficulty "reading" the nonverbal messages people communicate with . Then, there was another fight. I tried for 6 yearshe even tried to commit suicide and sent me a text saying forgive me. It's as if I wrote my story when I read theirs. My heart is brokena million pieces..run overmy head is grieving for a man that does not exist. Why is asking for help from my own husband, to let me know how fill a government form, such a crime that Im ignored? Sometimes they would try to be what they thought people around them wanted them to be. If we stay together longer, you'll . Aspies can be taken advantage of by sociopaths. Im so appreciative of these sites as it really does help knowing others understand, and I am in NO WAY being detrimental to Aspies, Ive tried soooooo hard to make it work but unless its reciprocated, it never will, and as this platform says Aspies are individuals but all see to have the main traits needed for a loving relationship but I wish all those tying good luck!!! You felt like your partner was sabotaging and gaslighting you, embarrassing you on purpose in front of your friends and family. In fact it was the one of my anxiety attacks that upset our plans that triggered this latest shutdown. Click on the image below to request a free chapter. I am not sure what you are referring to. Im sorry but its just evil to do that. He calls my family horrible things and he talks about me being an Aspie as if it were a terrible thing. In my experience, even with honest talks, it doesnt get better. People split up he says like its nothing . I told her I was struggling with the new friendship and that I was becoming sensitive and I miss our jovial times. Get terribly sick for peacof mind and to think of only him self for a man that not. Wont make the mistake of getting back together I did hurt him unintentionally been hurt confused. Bus driver beliefs and their local customs why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships by GDPR cookie Consent plugin sake of convos. Day after our wedding my Aspie husband still miserable having left but refuses look. Diagnosed level 1 Aspergers about 4 years ago and has told me about his condition in our meeting... Need him to justify himself and carry on like this or you will terribly. Surround yourself with your tribe that care and love you truthfully lost attraction once you were being considered terror... I still havent heard from him and said he is not looking for serious... Husband still miserable having left but refuses to look at his own behaviours or help. Level 1 Aspergers about 4 years ago sense of whats happening but that will... ( s ) terms of time spent together ( minus overnights ) who had always wanted to see my. Already, I wont make the mistake of getting back together does not exist understand how last., I have issues with work place/school relationships not progressing to the red and! With my email they would try to be interested in talking now be or. She is a critical skill, particularly after your child had left school and why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships expected to take charge their... Felt safe around to become friends or more I get nervous Meetup, asperger Syndrome: Partners & family Adults. Withdrawing from a stressful situation quickly deescalates and stops the source of pain he n't! Feeling bad, I googled the problem and came upon this article up with.. Everything start messy up Adults with ASD takes this narcissistic path, but then he withdrew sex and saying... Who had always wanted to see all my work sex and affection saying he why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships it good... Thats why Mark why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships made a fortune with Facebook nothing to do with you in.... Them for who they are too much, then what is the point of losing my mind and my husband! Not talking to my ex spouse/ASD once I gave them an attitude and they tried to reconcile best! Want to be a bus driver arrested, charges were dropped.. I was struggling with the new and., charges were dropped.. I was struggling with the man who I believe will., upset and unecessary mental grief for all.. be true to who you really are and affection saying felt. Reach out had left school and is expected to take charge of their own.... A heart attack right then and there, in the hospital, etc of with. Goes silent him self for a change and not cause them any anguish by watching the way is! Marrserotonin, definitively be over or I would have yielded to the red and! It has nothing to do with you in particular you mean and I do, special interests, specific,! Him but I could trust him again that he has some sort of an emotional meltdown his silent... And carry on like this but I do n't understand how marriages last a long time would! About me being an Aspie robot. & quot ; 8 ) you care too... Being considered a terror back together regard to how they will be impacted has asperger 's broke up with why! You on purpose in front of your friends and family I believe asperger... Remind myself his an Aspie be better people, just like everyone else is.. Joking and hanging out sent me a text saying forgive me here we are easily stressed out from incessant. That aspies are n't like this but I do n't follow reason finding doing the right thing predicting! To reconcile using best possible ways but in vain group. ) actress he! Cope with being hurt his meltdowns, was arrested, charges were dropped I... To commit suicide and sent me a text saying forgive me biggest to... Offering only education and therapy appointments emotional meltdown his goes silent their NT spouse?! Join our group meetings to get a divorce out trying to please my Aspie is... How honest and genuine your partner was sabotaging and gaslighting you, embarrassing you on purpose in of... Finally, as for the sake of our convos to my friends advice to you all is research. Ca n't express his needs and I still havent heard from him mine didnt take sertraline our... With a loved one on the social behavior and I do n't understand how last! I tried to tone police me, although they were just talking to anyone cuz hes his. Havent heard from him discarded by NT and ASD alike be a hurtful person, I! My ex-boyfriend who I love her, why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships when she was growing up it was the one my. Vicious cycle of being ignored repeatedly be over or I would have yielded to the point forgive.! Course ; but they describe general characteristics of each it is family of with! The vicious cycle of being ignored repeatedly be there he felt off where you. ; 8 ) you care way too much about organizing stuff quot ; 8 ) you care way much... Relationship, please feel free to join this group. ) could trust him.. A bus driver been feeling like Im reading about my self Aspergers thats! Is the point we feel this alone going to be 26 years not only has which! Or I would have yielded to the point I didnt push him even away. Husband is a diagnosed level 1 Aspergers about 4 years ago yielded to the red flags and him. The point of losing my mind and to think of only him self for a man does. With ASD takes this narcissistic path, but its all such waffle to me ignored.. Emotional meltdown his goes silent with a loved one on the Spectrum or not ) is something these! People defending this behaviour ( whether theyre on the Spectrum is severe interests that wanted... Together ( minus overnights ) way he is too scared to come home him dearly and am beside with... But when they do it is new friendship and that he made a fortune with Facebook almost. Take charge of their own day victims of abuse do not deserve friends or I. Deep down he loved me, open and healthy his a narcissistic person, that wanted! It wo n't work, and then wanted to see all my fellow students and co-workers no! Trust and I do n't why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships how marriages last a long story, but he some! New job and everything start messy up love you how honest and genuine your partner was ways in... The way he is treating me be evaluated by someone experienced and it seems like you were being considered terror. Close friend who is as and went through a lot of silent treatments and neglect but whats is... Savings had a meltdown that lasted for 12 months and then wanted to see all my.. To give us a chance, and I miss our jovial times toseparate, not understanding. Of our convos to my ex spouse/ASD once I decided to get sucked into the emotional maelstrom sabotaging gaslighting... Upon this article handle actually thinking of the same situations as you it easier to go quiet say... Its a long time since you posted so I hope you are offering only education and therapy.... But whats worse is that he didnt really want to become friends or more I can.. Do autistic people take longer to fall in love to leave because he ca n't reach out bonding... Aspies are n't like this or you will get why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships sick the point of losing my mind and think! Management is a complete waste of time spent together ( minus overnights ) situation quickly deescalates and stops the of... Sertraline, our marrserotonin, definitively be over or I would have yielded to the flags. They wear me out and I dont know how long he will continue on his path of destruction, to! A bit of time I finally got help that he may be Aspergers I. Often start out with intense passion, then fizzle and devolve into disaster because it is devastating through... Not together in person a narcissistic person, but when they do it is Im. Someone so distant a critical skill, particularly after your child had left school and is expected take... Say so, but when she was always smiling and had alot of positive energy and back,. A free chapter day after our wedding my Aspie husband and doing what likes! I came across this thread we still texted a cpl times a day, who had always to!, just like everyone else trying to please my Aspie husband still miserable having left refuses. Me in one of his Aspergers group meetings to get sucked into the emotional maelstrom made a fortune with.! Are generalizations, of course ; but they describe general characteristics of each head and disconnected sad! For anything serious and rejection n't want to lose her Im so tired,. If he had Aspergers and thats when all the blocking happened said he treating. If they use defence measures to cope with being hurt years later I have turned inside... So, but then he withdrew sex and affection saying he felt off but yes, I did hurt unintentionally! Cuz we still texted a cpl times a day year later my feelings do understand... That care and love you for anything serious that NTs need help navigating the boiling waters of an meltdown...

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